Awake
by Pandora Nervosa
Summary: SSHG My response to Challenge 20 on Live Journal's 30 Minute Fics community. Hermione's mind wanders as she tries to sleep.


A/N:  My response to Challenge #20 on Live Journal's 30 Minute Fics community.  Challenge is to interpret song lyrics as we see fit.  Hermione's POV.  Her mind wanders as she tries to sleep.

"Sometimes I lie awake at night and wonder  
Where my life will lead me  
Waiting to pass under sleep's dark and silent gate"  
  
--Jackson Browne, "Sleep's Dark and Silent Gate"

Well, here I am, awake again.  It is nearly 3am and Severus has been snoring softly for nearly four hours.  The pain in my lower back never ceases and it is slowly driving me insane.  I was warned by everyone who ever had children to sleep now, because there won't be any sleeping later, but sleeping now seems nearly impossible.  

My feelings range from elated to horrified.  Me?  A mother?  I would never have thought I would carry a child.  My wounds from the last battle with Voldemort were too severe.  The Mediwitches tried to repair my uterus, but they said it was impossible.  So sorry.  

If only I had a camera (would have taken even a Muggle camera at that) when Poppy informed Severus and myself that I was with child.  Stunned silence, then sobbing (from me).  He was quiet for a very, very long while.  "Well," he'd said.  "This complicates things." And he walked away.

Oh, there was no fear of Voldemort returning.  He was dust.  Gone from this mortal coil, but not gone from our memories.  There were other Death Eaters out there, still feeding on the hate and darkness that fueled Voldemort's reign.  Revenge was their goal, their passion.  Would they come for us soon?  Would they wait ten, twenty, perhaps fifty years to extract it?  Would they come for my child?

That was Severus' worry, when he uttered those hateful words in the hospital wing.  The wizarding world had not become all wine and roses once Voldemort was killed.  Oh, there were the initial celebrations, but everyone knew that there were too many of his followers still out there…watching, waiting.  They'd scattered at the final battle, to corners unknown.  Who were they?  Even Severus didn't know them all, but they knew him.  Knew he was a traitor, knew he was Dumbledore's spy.  They were still out there.

I try again to get comfortable.  My feet are twice their normal size.  At least that's what I've been told, since I haven't seen my feet in quite some time.  I sleep within a soft prison of pillows to prop my abdomen, my legs, my back.  One would think this is Hagrid's child, it is so large.  We've been assured that everything is progressing as normal, but I have my doubts.  I refer to my breasts.  They are reminiscent of  what Americans refer to as footballs.  I've been assured they will only grow larger when I begin to nurse the baby.  Severus actually managed a small smile at that one.

Severus.  What a complicated creature he is.  Brilliant, strong-willed, insecure, almost adolescent at times.  He can close himself off with a watertight-like seal that can be penetrated by neither man nor beast.   Well, perhaps beast.  I've seen him give Crookshanks a scratch even when in the worst of moods.  He is happy about the child.  His extensive apologies for making "The Comment" in the hospital wing assured me of that.  "A son." He'd said, kissing my fingertips.  "I would like a son."  Oh yes Severus.  Let's have a son and make sure he carries on those infallible Snape genes.  I wouldn't wish that nose on a girl.  I snorted aloud at the thought.  Tiny, perfect baby with black fuzzy down covering her head, pink rosebud lips, great beak-like nose.  No..no..mustn't think those things.  Perhaps baby will inherit Granger nose.  If baby _happens_ inherit Snape nose, will love it all the same.  Just hope it doesn't inherit Granger hair.

Severus rolls toward me in his slumber and cups my ever-growing breast in his palm.  Even in his sleep he is randy as a goat.  Who would have thought a man in his forties would have so much stamina?  He assured me that wizards are able to 'perform their marital duties' (his words, not mine) well into their hundreds, which of course brought forth images of Albus…with an erection peeping out from underneath that long beard.  I give a not-so-gentle shudder.  My movements awaken Severus.

"What's wrong?" He asks, his voice sandpapery with sleep.

"Nothing.  Just picturing Albus naked."

"I can see where that would be the cause of your insomnia.  Would you like something to help you sleep?"

"I'd really rather not.  I don't want to harm the baby."  He gives me 'the look' which translates into 'I am a Potions Master.  Do you truly believe I would administer any potion that would harm my child?'  "I know, it won't harm the baby, but you never know.  Perhaps a foot rub would put me to sleep?"  I ask with a coy smile.  He knows I am very partial to a good foot rub.

"Of course."  He begins rearranging pillows so I can sit up.

Severus gives the best foot rubs.  Those long graceful fingers know which muscles to hit, and where to hit them.  I try to scoot up on my own, but require assistance.  I am nearly there, back against the headboard when I feel it.  Warmth rushing from my body.  Gods, is that what I think…

Severus' calm is never shaken.  "Well, Mrs. Snape.  I do believe we are going to be parents very soon.  Your water has just broken."


End file.
